Changes

I realize I haven't posted in a long while.  I will post something important to me in the near future.

Thoughts for The New Year

There are people who use this time of year to make New Years Resolutions. I'm am going to do something a little different. My Achievements this year have been as follows... I am still married. :-)... I know that sounds a little weird but it is an Achievement due to the troubles me and the hubby had the year previous. The end of 2011 and 2012 were not ideal for us. We have since pushed through the extremes of our hard times and are working towards "better" everyday....... I'm still alive... Meaning I did not kill myself this year. Not saying I didn't think about it a few times. I know it's a bit depressing but I have pushed through it... so far. I still have suicidal thoughts every now and then. Not to worry. I'm not planning anything and I hope to not to again. However I know my own signs and will reach out for help if I need to so no worries........ I have a roof over my head... If you have read previous blog posts of mine you know that I was homeless for a good chunk of time in 2012. It may not be a castle or a house or even an apartment, but, it works for us. It's warm in the winter, cool in the summer, and perfect for us as far as I'm concerned. Some may think it's not good enough, I say it's better than good enough!........ I have food in my kitchen... For a "Phat" girl like me that is HUGE!!! I need food and I have it. I don't have to go beg for it either which is a wonderful thing!....... I have met some great friends this year!... I hope that those friendships last a long time........ I got to see my brother and sister this year!.. which hasn't happened in a long time and it was so good to see them!....... I got a job... I work for a good company, work with good people, and I genuinely like my job........... I have had a really great year! I only hope 2014 is half as good as this one!

Arbitrary Pet Peeve

When people who are waiting to cross the street at a crosswalk and they KEEP PUSHING THE DAMN BUTTON!!! Beep-beep Beep-beep Beep-beep Beep-beep. I just want to shout at them, "STOP IT!!! it won't make the light change any faster!!! ARGH!!!" *eye roll and huge exasperated sigh* But I keep my mouth shut, because even though it drives me crazy, they won't care and will probably keep pushing it anyway.

Feeling Sorry

I feel sorry for people with more. I know that may sound weird but people with more always want more and are usually afraid of having less. I am not afraid of having less as I have had less. I'm worried if I ever do have more I would lose sight of what I have now.

Displaced in a Different Way

So the Hubby and I have been living in an extended stay hotel since October. It's so much better than staying at the shelter however, I can't help but feel like somehow we are still homeless. I am so grateful to be away from the shelter. I am so grateful to be blessed with food and money in my pocket (well occasionally). I am in no way ungrateful for the things I have now. I just want to achieve more. I want a house I can make my own and would love to have a car. I like finding creative ways of making our little slice of the world our own. But deep down I know it's not truly ours and that hurts. For now I will make the best of what we do have and not worry about what I don't have. For I do have what is truly important. That is the love of a wonderful husband! He is my family and my home. If we are together then I will always have a home!

Flying a Sign

I have a new respect and also a greater distaste for sign flyers. These are the people sitting on the corner or street side with the cardboard sign that says "Homeless Please Help" or something along those lines. A few of my favorites I've seen are: "Bet you can't hit me with a Quarter." "I'm having visions of a cheeseburger." and "Bet you a dollar you'll read my sign."  Thing is, I don't agree with giving sign flyers money. 99% of them use them for an addiction of some kind. If you feel the need to give them something go buy them a dollar hamburger and give it to them. I do respect these people only because the ones that are dedicated to it are really dedicated. Also known as panhandling I feel that this is a horrible way for homeless people to take advantage of other people. Most of them treat "sign flying" as their full time job. They could be looking for a job. But, people will do what they do to get what they want the easy way.

Lonely Nights and Yet Not Alone

The other night I was missing my husband so much! I was so lonely and yet surrounded by people on the street and in the shelter. Hard times seem harder when you are Lonely. Especially when you are not alone.