Remembering the First Night

I don't remember the date but I remember how I was feeling. I had known the day would come. It had been coming for a few weeks, however I had held it off by using what money I had left from my last paycheck to get a room for a week, then by staying at a friends for another few days. No matter how long I tried to deny it I knew it was coming and I was scared no terrified! I put on a brave face cause I knew that my husband would be worried. I didn't want him to worry. I had called ahead to get the basics of what I had to do, but actually being at the door was a different feeling all together. It felt like I had stepped into the twilight zone and I was not in my own body. I was directed to the right doors by some rather scary looking people. Was told to push the button on the wall so they would open the door for me. I had already started to cry by the time I got to the front counter. The lady behind the desk asked me if I'd ever been here before. I half sobbed out a negative. She asked me my name, date of birth, social security number, where I had stayed the night before, what the zip code of the place I had lived the last 90 days consecutively, race, gender and a few others that were kind of obvious. She told me I was all set gave me a scratchy wool blanket, showed me where the bathroom was, and showed me where I would be sleeping. I walked into the room where there were several women already sleeping or atempting tp. I picked my spot on the floor with the two thin this-is-going-to-kill-my-back mats and scratchy wool blanket, situating my backpack as a half decent pillow. I took my shoes off got "comfortable" and just listened. You could hear slow soft breathing of the women who were asleep. You could also hear snoring. So much so I thought a train would run me over if I wasn't careful. You could also hear what sounded like a one sided phone call which was quickly quieted when someone shouted shut up. I went to the bathroom doing so quickly as I had no desire to leave my stuff in a room full of strangers. And tried to go to sleep. I cried for a little longer silently to myself texted my hubby to tell him I was fine. Finally after was so emotionally drained I fell asleep soon after I wiped my eyes. That was the first night I had ever stayed in a homeless shelter.